Faith and Family (Mother's Day)

(Taken from message preached at Liberty Hill UMC in Canton, GA as a part of the "I Don't Know What I Believe" Series)

In May 1907, Anna Jarvis, a member of a Methodist congregation in Grafton, West Virginia, passed out 500 white carnations in church to commemorate the life of her mother. One year later, the same Methodist church created a special service to honor mothers. In 1914 President Woodrow Wilson made it official and signed Mother’s Day into law. This years recognition marks the 100thanniversary of Mother’s Day being officially celebrated in the United States.

There is a lot of talk about the family. The cultural image of family is consistently changing. Some will say this is a sign of the breakdown of the family. We debate the meaning of marriage and family. It seems no matter what side of the political spectrum you find yourself; everyone wants to be “pro-family.”

It seems Christians have a huge interest in the family. We all agree that family values are essential even if we don’t all agree on what those ideals should include. When our teenager makes a choice that puts friends over family, we encourage her to remember, “Blood is thicker than water.” Family is always more important than the friends you make. Friends come and go, family sticks around. If we find ourselves against the wall when attempting to define the importance of family, we pull out the “what would Jesus do card.”

The problem is Jesus may not be the best person to help us hold up our definition of family. His own birth was scandalous and left everyone in the village questioning who the father was. When he was twelve years old, he ran off from his parents. When they finally discovered him in the temple, his mother rebukes him, “Child, why have you treated us like this” (Lk. 2:48)? He replies, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house” (2: 49)? Someone needs to teach this kid some respect. Hasn’t he ever heard of the fifth commandment, “Honor thy father and mother”? At one point, Jesus and his disciples were going along the road and a would-be disciple agrees to follow Jesus. But he says, “First let me go and bury my father.” Jesus responds, “Let the dead bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God” (Lk. 9:59, 60). Jesus did not focus on the family. He focused on the kingdom of God.

In the third chapter of Mark, Jesus calls twelve men to be his disciples. After designating the twelve, he goes home. A huge crowd surrounds him and starts accusing Jesus of being out of his mind. His mom and brothers get word of the madness and try to go and restrain him. Jesus defends himself among the religious leaders. While teaching inside a house, his mom and brothers come to try to speak to him. They stand outside and send someone in to let Jesus know that they have arrived. “Your mother and your brothers and sisters are outside, asking for you,” he is told. Jesus replies, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother” (Mk. 3: 31 – 35).

For Jesus, family is not about blood. It is not about sharing the same DNA. Family is, according to Jesus, about the reign of God. Jesus’ family is those who chose to be around him, with him, and to follow him. Jesus is redefining family in terms of faith. It is doing the will of God that is more important than birthright and family connections. He is calling us to a vision of family that is deeper and richer than simply a group of people who share the same last name. He is not attacking the family as much as he is expanding the concept of family.

This was as revolutionary in Jesus’ day as it is in ours. In his time there was no honor without family honor. There was no real lasting significance without the leaving of an heir. Your family origin determined your whole life. Your personhood was wrapped up in your family identity. Your future was dependent on your family.

His mom, brothers, and sisters were so immersed in this conventional way of thinking that they were blind to the new family that Jesus was establishing around him. For those who have made family an idol, Jesus warns, “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:25).

Before you begin to think that I am saying Jesus is anti-family we need to remember that he has some strict words on divorce. In a culture that places no value on children, he was very committed to their well-being. He says, “Unless we become like little children, we will not enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:3). Jesus also warns, “If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matt. 18:6). When his disciples tried to block mothers from bringing their children to Jesus; he replied, “Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs” (Matt. 19:14).

Biblical family values affirm that the waters of baptism run thicker than blood. Baptism is an adoption into a new family. The writer of Galatians declares, “As many as you were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to the promise” (Galatians 3:27 – 29). In Jesus we are all “children of God through faith” (3:26).

For most of us the family unit is one of joy and blessing. But for others it is a scary place of abuse and neglect. For many of us the waters of baptism are an adoption into a larger family that makes life more broad and purposeful. For others the waters of baptism is a rescue from family. It represents a new start. For the one who suffered years of shame that comes from carrying a particular name, the waters of baptism give you a new identity. Regardless of how we come to the water, baptism is an adoption into a new family. It is within this family that we are thrown together in fellowship and through the grace of God we grow into calling one another brothers and sisters.

It has been said, “Christians do not place their hope in their children, but rather their children are a sign of their hope that God has not abandoned this world” (Stanley Haeurwas). The raising of children from the perspective of the reign of God becomes about discipleship. It is more than simply having an heir to the family name. It is about making disciples of Jesus for the transformation of the world. Family becomes missional. Family units become change units. Love of family becomes love for justice and hope in a world where people are treated unfair, children are abandoned, and widows are neglected.

For the Christian, the raising of children is discipleship. The loving of spouse is connected to the love of God. The nurture of the family is for the growth of the kingdom of God. Family reunions become more than covered dishes and gossip. They are gatherings to plot the revolution of God’s reign. Jesus did not focus on the family. He kept his eye on the reign of God which gave him a vision of family that included the poor, neglected, and weak. If we would do the same, it would be the greatest gift we give to our children.