In an interview in 2002, Whitney Houston opened up to Diane Sawyer about her battle with addiction. When asked by Sawyer which craving was the biggest evil for her, Houston replied, “No one makes me do anything I don’t want to do. It’s my decision, so the biggest devil is me. I’m either my best friend or my worst enemy. And that’s how I have to deal with it.”

Whitney Houston passed away on February 11, 2012. The Friday before her passing, she performed “Yes, Jesus Loves Me” at Tru Hollywood Nightclub & Restaurant in Hollywood, CA. It is no secret that Whitney Houston struggled with addictions. She found herself alone and turned to whatever promised her shelter.

The real tests of life come when we are alone. When we find ourselves in the middle of nowhere and don’t really know how we ended up here. This is when we find out who we are. This is when we find out what we really miss and what we really are afraid of. For a while you daydream about your favorite food. Or you wish you were in the comfort of your bed. The longer we remain in the wilderness however the more we get to know ourselves. We discover the habits, substances or surroundings that we use to comfort ourselves, to block out pain and fear. Without these things we become exposed. It is hard. It is a struggle. And yet, it is necessary.

It seems to be a necessary part of our life journey to find ourselves alone with nothing but the comfort of God. Most of us are addicted to something: eating, shopping, criticizing or blaming other people, television, self-pity, or public recognition. Addiction is relying on anything besides the protection of God to shelter us from the storms. Sometimes it is alcohol that we use to shelter us from reality. Other times it is moving from one relationship to the next as a way of escape.

Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness fasting. He spent one day for each year that the people of Israel spent wandering in the wilderness. Because Jesus spent 40 days of fasting in the wilderness while being tempted by the devil, the Church has, for centuries, observed 40 day of Lent prior to the celebration of the death and resurrection of Jesus. That’s what many Christians have done for centuries. They’ve had their Mardi Gras or Fat Tuesday, the day to get rid of all the fat calories and alcoholic beverages from one’s system. Then on Ash Wednesday, they have gone to church to confess their sinfulness before God. They are marked with ashes and the words, “Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return,” are spoken over them. For the next 40 days, Christians will deny themselves the pleasures of desserts, breads, alcohol, tobacco, or one meal each day.

Today is Ash Wednesday. It is the day we recognize that we are our own worst enemies. Today we find the faith and the courage to enter into the wilderness. It is not something we look forward to but something we find crucial to our well-being. The journey is dangerous. The journey is threatening. The journey can be frightening. In the wilderness we are alone. We are weak. We are being confronted by the question: Who are we? For the sake of our well-being we step into the wilderness with nothing but the comfort of God. Our prayer is that at the end of the 40 days we get an answer to the question, “Who am I?” We enter it hopeful because we also realize that we are one day closer to resurrection.

“God is our shelter and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not be afraid, even if the earth is shaken and mountains fall into the ocean depths; even if the seas roar and rage, and the hills are shaken by the violence” Psalm 46: 1 -3.

How are you reflecting on the season of Lent? What are you giving up? What are your thoughts on addiction?